This song is dumb

Ok, I posted a catchy song the other day. The song is pretty dumb, it only has like 7 words but has about 1000x the ass. This one I'm about to dissect is just so blatantly stupid with about 6 million words, and no ass. It has a bald guy, that's pretty close to an ass I guess. But it's not an ass. The song is Hey Soul Sister by Train. You've undoubtedly heard this song, it's stupidly catchy but also stupidly stupid. Look at these lyrics (my observations in blue):

Hey, hey, hey
hey
Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
gross, are you the recipient of a lobotomy? and who the hell puts their lips on a brain?
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
right, because when I know I won't forget someone, I let them operate inside my skull
Your sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream 
yeah moonbeams are nice I guess, but there's no way she smells nice if she's kissing your brains
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind
one of your kind? which planet exactly do you come from?

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know! 
woah woah woah, this girl is your sister? And maybe she moves faster than you because you're fat? Did you ever think of that? See I can rhyme random words too
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
why tonight specifically? did you read her diary? are you stalking her? you're stalking her aren't you?
Hey, hey,hey
sup

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
I kind of hope you're the only 2 in this world with that mind, because you're messed up
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
if the game show is The Bachelor, you're out of luck. The person who wins that usually sues the dude. And the chicks get paid to be there
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
first your brain now your heart?! When are your 9 lives going to run out?
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind
actually, Madonna sleeps with anything that has money and moves

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
stop chasing her fatty and maybe she'll stop moving
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight 
STOP STALKING HER

The way you can cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
I've heard of the pie fetish and the balloon fetish, but cutting a rug?! Come on man
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
thugs don't dream of girls, thugs slap a bitch
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I know one thing you can't be: a normal person
I want the world to see you be with me
not happening

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
it's illegal to stalk
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
STOP STALKING HER
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight
I'm calling the cops
Hey, hey,hey
hi

Hey, hey,hey
GO AWAY
Tonight

tonight what?

hello?

screw you man

THIS SONG IS SHIT AND YOU KNOW IT.