Friday, August 13, 2010

The Girl to Season theory

Girls are very hard to read. They PMS all over the place and a platter of meats between their legs. I've developed a simple chart to help you understand the good from the bad. The different varieties of girls are also very related to the seasons that we endure for all our lives. Well, some we endure, others we tug our appendages over. Nightly. This list covers the good the bad and the ugly of women everywhere. Hopefully this gives you an insight into the female race and which tier they fall into.

 Sandra Bullock, Marisa Miller, Charlize Theron, Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale
  • Liked by the majority of people, and a favourite among horny (all) men because of the small clothing involved
  • Manages to get you sweaty at night
  • Gives females an excuse to be catty and angry
  • Sometimes gives you a headache
  • Super hot
Alicia Silverstone in Clueless, Kate Winslet, Natalie Portman (downgraded due to short hair dumbassery), Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox (downgraded for being a dumbass), Taylor Swift, Hayley Williams
  • A downgrade from summer, but still very beautiful
  • Liked by a majority of old people and and artsy types who can see it for it's beauty
  • Enjoyable, but if you had the choice, you'd rather fuck have Summer
  • Comfortably warm, but not super hot
Mel C, fat Kelly Clarkson, strung out Nicole Richie, Amber Rose, Elizabeth Hasselbeck (downgraded multiple times for being multiple dumbass levels), Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Not really liked by a lot of people
  • Pisses you off whenever it starts to come near 
  • Pretty fucking ugly and is capable of killing leaves just by looking at them
  • Isn't conducive to happy feelings
  • Emo 11 year olds can find beauty in it by writing poems about it
  • Only saving grace is that there is worse to come
Rosie O'Donnell, Lindsay Lohan, Lisa Lampanelli, Courtney Love after Hole, Tori Spelling
  • Hated by virtually everyone
  • You have to save all your wood because it sure as fuck won't be needed if it was Summer
  • Wouldn't mind if it no longer existed
  • Makes you want to kill yourself
  • Need a shower after looking at it
  • Disgusted that people like this actually exist
  • Massive urge to punch them all in the face
Got carried away, but the point still stands. Keep working hard girls and I'll upgrade you to the bit-more-likable Autumn!


  1. spot on.... I hate winter and lindsay lohan

    check out my blog, we have the same writing style

  2. This is a well done blog here. I just blogged all over yyour blog while i was blogging. Shit was SOOOO BLOG. Following from now on.

  3. Thanks for the great blog check out

  4. lmfao, everyone hates lohan

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